Employees of The Starmakers now required to be at the office for nine hours and do what they could do from home in 5 hours. Photo: Luke Peters
Local PR and content creation agency The Starmakers recently hosted a seminar on why employees should be back full time now that Covid is really over and we have bigger things to worry about like majority-approved genocide, air quality depletion, more Kardashian shows and lengthy run-on sentences.
The seminar aimed to educate employees on the benefits of being in office all the time. Even though most employees are showing far greater productivity and mental wellbeing by taking an additional day or two away from the workplace, "it is not cool", according to the HR manager.
Brishty Hamid, CFO and HRO of The Starmakers, said, "We cannot access the quality of an executive if their face is not present under our surveillance cameras from 9-5 and beyond. Was Genghis Khan working from home when he conquered all the world? No! He murdered and plundered by being present all the time."
Some say the overwork may have killed Genghis Khan before he could reached 30. Others say overwork and bubonic plague. Debate continues in another article.
The Starmakers employ roughly 300 people and they want them all to be present in their little cubicles. During Covid they moved to a full work-from-home (WFH) policy because too many employees were dying without finishing their work. While sad, HR considered that a necessary evil since it helped them save money from not having to pay out benefits due to inability to compete work.
"Dead people have a habit of leaving unfinished business," said Alinoor Ali, Senior HR Executive.
During the WFH process, they recorded record growth in efficiency as people focused on getting their work done quicker and better so they can make better use of their home time. That led senior management to realise that maybe they were simply not giving the employees enough work. The Starmakers gradually moved to a six-day work period but now they want their employees to work full-time, which is ALL the time.
Employees are upset except the ones that have no life. The Starmakers have assured that this process will be eased into gradually. They plan to hold workshops to help employees ease into the routine without killing themselves. This is frowned upon. Cleaners generally ask for extra pay when cleaning dead people remains from cubicles.